Although February is gone and January feels like a world away I still find myself reflecting on my wants and wishes in terms of personal growth. Therefore, I do not think it is too late to share a few of my new years resolutions.
I used to feel like I was my failure; that every mishap or misstep and fear defined me and my future. This eventually led to crippling anxiety and a dangerous inner voice telling me I would not amount to anything. In truth, you can not fully measure or guarantee your success but you can elucidate the terms. One thing that is helping me understand my anxiety and fears is something I am doing right now…talking about them. I find that discussing the things that pause your passions is an important first step to diminishing them. So go out, go forth and make your voice heard, even if it’s small and even if the person who needs to hear it the most is yourself.
Taking a title from TheCriterionCollection and an idea from the ever popularWish Wish Wish, I present The Supplements, a mini update/ roundup of sorts (which works out well since the year is coming to an end.) I have not had much time to plan and execute a full post and have been feeling a little down because of that.Â I am a huge perfectionist and will more times than not put a full stop on a project or idea if it cannot be executed the “right way”, a topic I plan on being a bit more open about in the new year.
LIFE AS OF LATE…
I have really been enjoying my life offline and recently had the opportunity to travel to The Wizarding World of Harry Potterâ„˘ at Universal Studios Orlando while visiting my boyfriend’s family in Florida for the holidays. After I stopped kicking myself because I was not able to prepare another installment ofÂ “you are here“and fully embraced the magic I was in heaven. The amount of detail in the parks (both Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley) is truly astounding and with a cloudless sky above us and a decent sized crowd around the world opened up.
I am currently back home in the big apple mentally preparing and trying to keep calm as the new year creeps in. 2015 was filled with wonderful moments, people and lessons that I am eager to apply in 2016 but let’s not rush it. Until then I thought it would be fun to provide a *little list of some of the things I have recently been listening to, watching and loving. Enjoy!
*This is in no way a full recap of things I have found or enjoyed this year just a little taste of now! I can not believe this will serve as my last post for the year, time really does fly. To everyone who has commented, stopped by, shared and supported thank you so so much, it means a ton. See you next year dear readers!
I have a confession to make. I, myself, am strange and unusual and I’m sure you are too! If you’re like me you worship the wild and weird, strange and unusual. You look for and find beauty in the unnatural, unknown and unseen but how did this interest (obsession)Â start? As a culture we are obsessed with origin stories. We look for and crave the narrative that started it all no matter how big or small. This little one is mine.
I don’t know how or when it began but I know it started young. If you’ve visited my about pageÂ you know I grew up surrounded by movies. Everything from the tragic scenes of Dr. Zhivago to the unreal images of our very real world in Baraka flickered before me during movie night, but the ones that have stuck with me, the films that I still cite as inspiration to this day are those that were darker in tone. Horror was a genre I was kept away from and the monsters I did see were pre-approved by my parents but there were some nights when they slipped through the cracks and into my subconsciousness. The monsters of RayÂ Harryhausen for instance were so visually striking and magical that I went to sleep praying I dreamt of skeletons after watching Jason and his crewÂ fight them off in the Jason and the Argonauts. I welcomed them and there was nothing “strange” about it, at least not in my mind, nothing morbid either.
That word was not introduced to me until I was older and whenever it was brought up it was almost always in a negative context, like a dirty little word. I found no morbidity in the mummified hands I was showing the other kids at break time during computer camp, or the scrying mirrors I wanted to recreate in middle school. Yet despite all my interests and all the knowledge I thought I had I remember being really afraid of death. I suspect everyone is the first time they fully grasp what it is. I can vaguely recall sitting in the girls bathroom when I was little, my body engulfed in a complete panic repeating, “I don’t want to die.” Why I did this I do not know but books and stories helped me eventually shake off the fright. I turned to research and the fear quickly turned to fascination.
Suddenly, my nights were filled with stories of ghosts and hauntings, my head utterly consumed with the supernatural but my heart with guilt.Â I would beg family friends to tell me every ghost story they could think of but would have trouble sleeping later that night. I’d spend hours reading up on shadow people and local haunts but would feel so ashamed for being curious in the first place. Now that I am older, my interests have not changed and remain stronger than ever.
Recently, my friend Jackson and I took a trip to the Morbid Anatomy Museum, a must see if you’re like me and you want your day trips to be a bit out of the ordinary. The museum is a black mass on 3rd ave. and the corner of 7th Street in Brooklyn (you seriously can’t miss it.) The fairly small exhibition room lends itself to an intimate atmosphere and allows you to be upÂ close and personal with the art on display. However the real gem in this morbid crown is the library; this cabinet of curiosities houses thousands of books, photographs and artifacts on a myriad of subjects ranging from death and burial practices to psychotic women in cinema. It was an absolute dream room and I look forward to going back. Before you leave make sure to grab a drink at the cafe downstairs, the chai and spiced hot chocolate are perfect for a chilly day in and around all oddities.